As if I didn’t have enough to do, while looking for a venue for drinks with friends the other day (in order to tick something else off one of the million to-do lists weighing me down at the moment), I stumbled across something that almost made my heart stop dead. Another list. But this was like being faced with a monumental challenge that I desperately wanted to accept, and yet couldn’t feasibly think about. Time Out’s 101 things to do in London before you leave.
If you’ve ever seen How I Met Your Mother, you’ll know Barney Stinson; the man who cannot NOT accept a challenge. I wished he’d been next to me when I started reading this not-so-little tick-list of London delights. If he had, he’d have exclaimed ‘Challenge accepted!’ and dashed off to begin completing the task at hand. Instead, I sat there scrolling through page after page of – some random, some interesting, some funny, and some not-so-appealing – experiences in the capital city, feeling the tug of the ‘I want to do that! Oooh, and see that! And visit that!…’ versus the ‘If I even contemplate this for a second longer, I’m going to litereally double the number of entries on my own personal things-to-do-before-I-leave list.’
With only seven to ten days left in London – cue fearful/excited scream – and a hell of a lot of stuff to sort out before I go (not least plans for leaving drinks, which have been shamefully neglected by me), there is no way I’d even get ten of these things done, let alone the 84 that I have yet to do.
Maybe the solution is to defer this to you – while I’m out doing the 101 things you have to do in Australia before you leave, I leave the London list in your capable hands. You can tell me all about it, so it’ll be like I’ve actually eaten whelks and smashed up cars in Wimbledon stadium. Go on, say you’ll accept the challenge…and maybe add some stuff to their list, which hasn’t actually been updated since 2008! Pretty please? With a chess piece on top?